Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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