My first STD was from a foam party
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
