I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
