Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
