Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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