just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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