Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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