I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
