I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
