This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
