If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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