I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
