The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
