so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
