so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
