The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
