I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
