Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
