my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
