Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
