Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
