You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
