I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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