What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
