i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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