He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Is this like a preordered booty call?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
