Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
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