when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
