I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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