Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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