Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
