Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
