Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
