when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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