i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
