I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Randomize
