whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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