Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
