gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
