Only a mothe r could love this liver
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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