After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
