When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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