Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
