so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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