She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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