it wasn't lemon gatorade
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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