why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
