Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
