You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
