White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
