It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Randomize
